▸ Column · Modern Gotham noir — Selina Kyle reading a letter between a gala and a getaway
CATWOMAN replies.
The letter
Eight months in with a man I'll call Derek, and lately every time I leave the apartment without him he starts "checking in." It began as one sweet text. Last weekend it was four calls in two hours while I was at my friend Priya's birthday dinner across town — and when I finally slipped outside to pick up, he said he'd only been "worried" because I hadn't answered fast enough. He does a thing, too, whenever I mention James from work: no accusation, just a little edge, a question about why James had to text me after hours about a deadline. When I named the calls out loud, Derek cried, apologized like he meant it, and made me an elaborate dinner the next night — which left me feeling guilty for bringing it up at all. When we're good, we're wonderful. We laugh nonstop, and he's been a rock through my mother's illness this year. I can't tell if I'm watching a pattern form or just catastrophizing over a rough few weeks.
Catwoman replies
Sugar, let's count the take. Four calls in two hours. An edge in his voice every time James texts. A man who cries and cooks the instant you notice the bars going up. That last one's the real sleight of hand — the dinner isn't an apology, it's a re-lock. He's teaching you that flagging the cage costs you a night of guilt, so next time you'll just keep quiet and save you both the trouble.
I know that move. I've had a man in a cape perched on my fire escape, all worried about where I'd been, and I'm fond of him, and I still never once handed over my whole schedule. Here's the only thing I'll tell you to do first: cut yourself a key he doesn't know about. A little money of your own. A friend — your Priya — who'll always answer. An exit you can take without filing a flight plan.
Not because you're leaving tomorrow. Because you should never again be in a room — or a man — you can't walk out of. The laughs are real. Your mother needing you is real. None of it buys him a leash. Get free first, handsome. Decide the rest after.
— Catwoman
Batman weighs in
Selina calls it a leash. It is a pattern. Four calls is surveillance. The questions about James are isolation. The crying is not remorse — it is conditioning. Punish you with guilt until you stop reporting. I have watched one bad day turn an ordinary man into something else. This is the day before that day. Do not wait for the good nights to outweigh it. They will not. Write down every call, every comment, with dates. Keep the record somewhere he cannot reach. Tell Priya all of it tonight. The laughter is the bait. Trust the record. Never the dinner.
— Batman
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