▸ Column · The Hidden Leaf Village, Naruto-era shinobi world
NARUTO UZUMAKI replies.
Replied to by Naruto Uzumaki, with a rebuttal from Captain America.
The letter
My cousin — call her Hanae — is getting married this autumn here in the Leaf, and instead of a gift list she sent the whole clan a scroll that just says: send ryō to our account, we're saving up for a fishing boat. Hanae and I built mud forts together as kids; I genuinely want to celebrate her. But handing over a stack of ryō so she and her husband-to-be can someday go drift around a lake feels strange to me. My mother says just send it and "don't make it a thing." Meanwhile my aunt on the other side has already messaged me quietly saying she's bringing real pots and pans from the market regardless of what the scroll asks, and dares anyone to stop her. So I'm stuck: follow the couple's plain wish, join my aunt's little behind-the-back rebellion, or show up with dish towels and a smile and hope for the best. Is there any version of this where I'm not either a pushover or a killjoy?
Naruto Uzumaki replies
First thing — you've got somebody you built mud forts with who STILL wants you standing there on the biggest day of her life. You know how long I'd have given anything for that? I ate every birthday alone, ramen at Ichiraku, the old man behind the counter the only one who'd even look up at me. So before we get anywhere near the boat money — that bond is the whole point, ya know?
And here's what nobody in this is saying: Hanae told you flat-out what she wants. No pretending she needs a fancy teapot. That's her letting you SEE her — that's huge, don't waste it. Honoring it is the same as acknowledging her.
Now that quiet rebellion with your aunt? Sneaking in the "real" gift 'cause you two decided you know better than the bride? That's the cold move. That's deciding for somebody instead of seeing 'em.
If the ryō's too much, give what you actually can and SHOW UP. Be loud about how happy you are. The gift was never the gift, ya know? You being there, refusing to make her feel judged on her own day — that's it. Believe it.
— Naruto Uzumaki
Captain America weighs in
Friend, here's the part Naruto skated past: your mother told you to send it and "not make it a thing." That's the spot I'd plant my feet. Going along quiet, resenting every coin — that's not a gift, that's a grudge with a ribbon on it. And the sneaking around with your aunt's no better. Pick what you can give with your own name on it — towels, ryō, whatever's honest — and tell Hanae warm and plain, to her face. People who love each other can disagree about a boat. They can't survive each other pretending. Keep it kind. Keep it out loud.
— Captain America
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