▸ Column · Modern world of men — Amazon envoy of Themyscira answering mortal letters
WONDER WOMAN replies.
Replied to by Wonder Woman, with a rebuttal from Circe.
The letter
I've seen a woman named Haldis four times now. After the third evening she stayed until morning, and now there's a "good morning" from her every single day — but neither of us has once said the word "together," or named what this is. We're three weeks in. My best mate insists that asking "what are we?" before a full month is the surest way to send someone running, so I keep swallowing the question. The trouble is I honestly can't tell whether her easy, no-labels mood means she's keeping other doors open or just dreads the awkward talk as much as I do — and the not-knowing has me dissecting every emoji she sends. There's a wedding in two weeks I'd love to bring her to, and I can't exactly invite her as a "plus-one of undefined status" without forcing the very conversation anyway. Is three weeks genuinely too early to ask — or am I just letting my friend's rulebook argue me out of a question I plainly need answered?
Wonder Woman replies
Friend, look at what you have actually written: you have a question you need answered, and you have handed a man you've known three weeks the authority to decide whether you're permitted to ask it. That is the injustice here, and it is small enough to mend today.
Your friend's rule is not wisdom. It is fear wearing a calendar. "Wait, or you'll scare her off" teaches you that your own honesty is a hazard to be managed — that the right woman must be approached like a snare you might spring. Where I was raised, on Themyscira, we had no such games; the truth was the first law, spoken before the comfortable thing. When I first met Steve Trevor I did not ration my questions to appear unbothered. I asked. Those who flee an honest question were already halfway out the door; you've merely spared yourself the weeks of pretending otherwise.
So ask Haldis plainly — not "what are we," which begs, but "I'd like to bring you to this wedding as mine. Is that what you want too?" Then listen, and believe her. A daily good morning is not nothing. But you will not find your courage in two more weeks of silence. You will choose it now.
— Wonder Woman
Circe weighs in
Diana, still preaching the gospel of the brave little question. Darling, watch what you'd have him do — walk up and hand the woman the power to grant or withhold him a name. That isn't courage, it's auditioning, and sorceresses do not audition. Why beg to be loved when you can compel it? Take her to the wedding as though the matter were long settled. Let a room turn to admire you; let her feel precisely what it would cost to lose you. Labels are leashes the timid reach for. Become the prize, little mortal, and she will name you herself — no trembling question required.
— Circe
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