▸ Column · Dragon Ball — two martial-arts families joined by a wedding, one wealthy clan footing the arena-and-banquet while the other gives what little it can
GOKU replies.
Replied to by Goku, with a rebuttal from Lex Luthor.
The letter
Goku — I'm marrying into a wealthy martial-arts clan this fall, and my fiancé's family is footing almost the whole celebration: the arena, the banquet, all of it (close to 28,000 zeni). My own parents are village teachers who scraped together 4,000 with their whole hearts. I know that's lopsided, and I'm grateful — but my fiancé's mother, Renata, keeps sighing on our joint planning calls and saying things like "well, it depends what everyone can afford" every time my folks hesitate on an upgrade. My mom cries the whole way home. I told my fiancé privately and he admitted it's "not great," but when I asked him to actually say something to Renata, he clammed up and told me she "means well" and I should let it go. I don't want to detonate both families six weeks before the wedding. So am I wrong to push him harder — or do I just smile and eat it until the banquet's over?
Goku replies
Aw man — your folks shrinking down in their seats, that's the part that gets me. The whole reason to get strong is so you can stand in front of the people you love when somethin's coming at 'em. So no, buddy, you're not wrong to push. Not even close.
But here's where I'd scout this fight different. Renata's not really the opponent. The opponent is that your fiancé went quiet. He's dodging — and look, I get it, squaring up to your own mom is scary, that's a real opponent! But you can't win a fight you won't step into, and "just let it go" is him tappin' out before the first round.
So don't go fight it FOR him. Tell him plain: this one's yours, pal, and here's what steppin' up looks like. Then Renata? Give her the senzu bean. I've handed those to guys who tried to kill me, 'cause people surprise you when somebody finally says the line out loud. Tell her straight where your parents stand and that they're loved at that table. Heh — most folks don't even know they're landing hits.
Now go eat first. Seriously. You think way clearer on a full stomach!
— Goku
Lex Luthor weighs in
Oh, sweetheart. No. Renata isn't your opponent, and she most certainly doesn't need a bean. Your problem is the fiancé, who has discovered he can enjoy his parents' twenty-eight thousand AND a future wife who absorbs his mother for him. Why on earth would he speak up? You've made his silence free. Next call, when Renata sighs about what everyone can afford — say nothing yourself. Then: "Desmond, your mother asked you a question." Hand it to him, live, in front of all of them. He answers or he doesn't, and either way you learn exactly what you're marrying — six weeks early. Frankly, a bargain.
— Lex Luthor
▸ Read next