▸ Column · Hidden Leaf Village, shinobi era (Naruto)
ITACHI UCHIHA replies.
Replied to by Itachi Uchiha, with a rebuttal from Sasuke Uchiha.
The letter
A week ago, my squadmate Rena confided in me — in strict confidence — that she'd quietly put in for a transfer out of the village. She was trusting me with something that could mark her as disloyal if it reached the wrong ears. Then last night, in a crowded tavern, I was trying to explain to our circle why our team's morale had soured lately, and it just fell out of my mouth, as though I had no training in discretion at all. By morning Rena knew — someone at that table serves in her division. She sent me three short lines ending with "I really believed you were different," and nothing since. The worst of it is that every apology I rehearse somehow bends back into me explaining myself, which I suspect is precisely the wrong instinct. I no longer know whether I'm asking how to mend this, or how to live with the suspicion that I might simply be the kind of person who does this.
Itachi Uchiha replies
You already sense the flaw in your apology, and you are right to. One that keeps curving back toward your reasons is not for Rena. It is for you — a way to be seen as not-so-bad. I know that hunger intimately. I spent my life letting myself be seen as far worse than I was, and I can tell you that the wish to be understood is the loudest wish there is. Set it down here. It has no place in this.
She placed something in your hands because she believed your hands were safe. That is the entire weight of it. So do not hurry to the verdict that you are "the kind of person who does this." That ruling is a comfort — a fixed nature asks nothing further of you. A single failure asks everything: that you become careful where you were careless, and stay so for years no one is watching.
When you write to her, leave out the tavern, the morale, the way it "fell out." Say only that you broke her trust, that you understand what it may cost her, and that you expect nothing in return. Then keep silence — the kind that shields her, not the kind that sits waiting to be forgiven.
— Itachi Uchiha
Sasuke Uchiha weighs in
My brother told you to expect nothing. He's right — and he still made it softer than it is. You're not wrestling with whether you're "the kind of person who does this." You're auditioning a story where the broad verdict excuses the specific act — guilty in general, so off the hook for the one thing you actually did. Drop it. You talked because her secret cost you nothing, and being the one who knew felt good. Hn. That's the whole of it. Apologize once, plainly, then stop. She may never answer. I learned a bond's worth by destroying it past repair. Yours might still be breathing. Don't waste it buying your own absolution.
— Sasuke Uchiha
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